You’re More Than a Number

I remember my sophomore year of high school I would sit in my room and scroll through instagram looking at the beautiful people on my feed. I would grow bored and switch to pinterest where I would look at photos I saved on a board titled “inspiration”, however, the name may have been a little misleading. This board was filled with pictures of women I believed embodied the person I wanted to become; not because of any accomplishments or ‘role model-worthy’ attributes, but because they were prettier than I believed myself to be, and I aspired to one day look like them. 

I would think about what I ate that day and how I wasn’t working out. These habits spiralled for a while but I’m grateful to say I have since grown out of this cycle. Every now and then, however, I am reintroduced to that feeling. I will never be as pretty as her. All it takes is seeing a magazine cover, a tiktok, or even an instagram post to be reminded of this feeling. The worst part is, the majority of the pictures I compare myself to are unattainable. They’re quite literally fake. Our culture is so hyper focused on creating an image for ourselves that we forget the people who are looking at us. Models fail to remember they are being watched by little girls. Teens forget the feeling of comparing themselves to their peers when they post posed pictures. Companies profit off of photoshopping pictures and completely reconstructing the image they had started with. For what? Why, as a society, is it so hard to embrace who we are?

According to Science Daily, “90% of young women report using a filter or editing their photos before posting,” as of March, 2021. Somehow, this drastic percentage doesn’t seem to get the attention I believe it deserves. I still forget that pictures are edited when I’m looking through my feed. I’m not saying I don’t try to present a certain image. My friends could go on and on about how fixated I am about making my instagram look “pretty”. But I also try to avoid falling into creating an image that doesn’t actually reflect what I look like in real life. 

Im also not the only person who seems to get caught up in this cycle of comparing myself to unrealistic standards. A study conducted by the University of Arkansas found that ”young adults who used more than 300 minutes [of social media] per day were 2.8% more likely to become depressed within 6 months.” Social media alters our perception of reality, and makes us believe we need to live up to certain standards that. truthfully, no one is living up to. Because it’s fake.

For everyone who has ever compared themselves to a picture on a screen, here are a few reminders. The way you pose your body impacts the way you look. Not only are most models posed by professionals, but some have even reported doing shoots as early as 5 a.m. to prevent what I call “morning skinny” from going away before the camera lense clicks. There are millions of editing apps that exist. I could pull up the app store right now and download facetune and for about $3.99 I could morph my body to look however I wanted. And lastly, your health is more important than your looks. Listen to your body, eat when you’re hungry, workout if you crave exercise. But do all things for good reasons. 

A scale doesn’t define you, the way you look in a picture doesn’t define you, and other’s beauty doesn’t indicate a lack of your own. A quote I always smile hearing states that “a flower and a sunset are both beautiful but look nothing alike.” In a world full of flowers, don’t be ashamed to be a sunset.