Alan Watts’ concept of “the backward law” had created a major shift in my perspective on how to set healthy goals. Watts explains that by pursuing something, all you’re really doing is making yourself more aware of the fact that there is something missing, something that you lack. The same way you can’t tell yourself to stop thinking about something, you can’t chase a dream or goal without becoming overwhelmingly aware of the fact that you have not yet achieved it. I had always believed I was goal-oriented, but now I’m not so sure that is what’s best for me.
Watts said that a life “full of goals and end-points is like trying to abate one’s hunger by eating merely the two precise ends of a banana. The concrete reality of the banana is, on the contrary, all that lies between the two ends, the journey as it were.” How often in life do you get so wrapped up in the goal that you catch yourself falling into frustration when you realize you haven’t reached it yet? How easy is it to look ten years into the future instead of taking life a week, or a day, at a time? Maybe this doesn’t happen to you, but it happens to me.
Sometimes this cycle of frustration is helpful because it pushes me forward and helps me reach my goals faster. But other times, it just pushes me toward goals without giving me a second to consider my current circumstances. Here’s an example. In high school, I thought I was going to be a psychologist as my last resort effort to mold myself into a medical related field (it didn’t last). While I thought this was my end-game, I started looking at the best psychology schools and came across Duke University. I became infatuated by the school because of their psychology department, and made it my number one choice. By senior year I knew I wanted to be a journalist, but something in me wouldn’t let go of the “Duke dream”. I didn’t want to be a psychologist anymore, and Duke’s journalism program was far from perfect — by this I mean that the university handed out 1 bachelor’s degree in journalism in the 2020-2021 school year. I had gotten stuck on a ‘one track mind’ cycle, and couldn’t break down the goal to see if it even applied to me anymore, which it didn’t.
This isn’t my way of saying people shouldn’t have goals. I think goals are amazing. But I think sometimes setting goals can get in the way of trusting God’s process and enjoying where He has us right now. Set stepping stone goals, make daily checklists. Both of these are proven to boost serotonin by increasing one’s feelings of being accomplished. But I wouldn’t advise setting goals five years in the future. Having ambitions is amazing, but when you set goals that are too far away to reach in the moment, you are setting yourself up for frustration. You will constantly be aware of the fact that you’re not at that point in your life yet, and you can end up chasing goals that don’t really fit into your life anymore without being able to recognize that.
It is a similar concept, I suppose, to ‘don’t grow up too fast’. That phrase does not suggest you shouldn’t plan for college, but it means enjoy high school instead of just wishing you were a college student already. Otherwise, you miss the moment.
If setting goals works for you, great! Keep chasing them. But if you’re like me, they can almost get in the way. So set little goals that will get you towards the bigger ones and give you a chance to shift routes if you need to. It’s much less overwhelming and a lot closer to where you’re at in life right now. Instead of saying, “I’m going to live in Montana when I’m older” — a goal of mine that I may need to reassess — try something more like “I’m going to try hard in school this week so that I can, if God intends, one day find a job that takes me to Montana”. It gives you something to do in the moment for the greater goal, and provides smaller goals so that you feel accomplished instead of just burnt out. Dream, pray, and plan for the future. But don’t miss right now’s beauty in the process.